Sacagewea was a drug dealer

When are we going to start honoring the real heroes of this country's great past? One of the biggest honors one can receive the world around is having your image on some sort of currency. Here in America we got off to a good start homeboys like Washington, Lincoln, and even Hamilton was a pretty good choice. Pretty soon the jerks in the treasury got creative and starting putting everyone and their dog and some kind of currency. Now we have JFK (drunk) on the half-dollar. (What the hell is a half-dollar anyway?) Susan B. Anthony (whore) is on the dollar that looks like a quarter. Try putting one of those bad boys in a vending machine and see what happens. Sacagewea (drug dealer, whore) has her own special gold dollar coin. Good, that is what we all need is more coins rattling around in our pockets, now we don't have to held captive by the ancient ideas of just losing a few pennies in couches and at movie theaters. Now we can all lose $6.50 every time we sit down. Now maybe we can all get coin purses and be as gay as europeans. When I was little I always told my mom that when i grow up I want to be a smelly, snooty Frenchman. Thanks Sacagewea for leading those two jerks through the forest.



Also the latest phenominon is having quarters that are designed to honor each one of our fifty states. That is also a banner idea. I couldn't sleep the other night because i was so worried that no inbred rednecks from Alabama will be able to dictate what goes on our quarters. I can't wait to see what is on Alaska's quarter: 'Come to Alaska and kill yourself because it's dark all the time'.

Let's get some real currency. Evil Kanievel should be on a dollar. When was the last time JFK jumped over a bunch of school busses that were on fire on his motorcycle? Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's should be on a 99 cent peice to hnor his finest invention, the 99 cent value menu. Last but certainly not least, Superman should be on some kind of bill, like the ten or something. I know he isn't real but he is way cooler than peices of crap like Ulysses S. Grant (he is on the $50 bill for those of you in Mississippi). Just because money is the root of all evil, doesn't mean it has to look stupid.