A lot has happened since the last time I graced you with my blogging presence. It would be an exercise in futility to mention everything, so I will, as usual just discuss the things that are most important to you. Since my last post a new president was elected, he is our first half-white president. This makes me proud as a white person. It helps me to think that anything is possible. His presidency sends a strong message to those who aspire to great things in their life. Now children can clearly understand that one does not need to actually accomplish anything for people to love you. It seems that the only thing necessary is a fun personality and an inspiring catch phrase. (Sí se puede)
Just after my last blog post the United States economy took a nose dive. It is obvious that the two events are directly related. You can’t expect this great country to survive without its greatest asset, my voice of hope. Loyal subjects go out and spend your money because my return should inevitably help the economy, so you’re welcome America.
Something has been bugging me, America and you need to know about it. Like me, many of you probably receive mail on a regular basis. (Daily in most places) With recent technological advances the traditional United States postal service has become pretty obsolete, but occasionally one receives something with importance. This occasional pertinent item is just enough to keep most people ‘checking the mail’ at least every other day. Sadly, the bottom feeders of society have seized this opportunity to inundate our lives with trash and useless information. I can understand the occasional credit card application, or occasionally having a dental office advertise low cost teeth whitening, but several times a week mailboxes are stuffed with coupons for companies hocking the newest and cheapest wares out there. For some awful reason this remains legal in all 50 states. (I blame Colin Powell) No one in their right mind wants any of this crap, yet relentlessly publications like the Red Plumb ruin our postal lives. If some crazed lunatic went around filling mailboxes with human feces, they undoubtedly would be thrown in jail, and in Texas they would be executed. Up with this we should no longer put. The next time you receive one of these pieces of filth throw it on to the street where it belongs! Until next time, remember don’t snitch.
3 comments:
You just made the president of the Red Plum cry. That was heartless.
When I get sick of my email, I just delete it. You should delete your physical address to stop the garbage.
King Conor, as one of your most loyal subjects, and regular readers, I would like to take this opportunity to say "welcome back"! It is so wonderful to again be enlightend by your wisdom. I could not agree more with the crap in the mailboxes. I am still angry that the crazy black lady with 3 inch nails still has a job at our post office. She is mean to white people. She is a racist. She just may be our next president of the USA. Only in America.
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