I'm a Paddy, You're a Paddy

Undisputedly one of the coolest people on the planet, U2’s Bono once said that the world is made of two kinds of people, those who are Irish, and those who want to be. America, truer words have never been spoken. This last week drunkards all around the world celebrated St. Patrick’s Day. Some stupid liberals out there might be thinking to themselves that St. Patrick’s Day is just an excuse for those who are Irish and those who wish to be to wear green and drink. Well my stupid friends, real Irish people don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, and never need an excuse to drink. The truth is that St. Patrick himself was kind of a bastard. He was an English slave,( 0 for 1) who was sent to Ireland by the Catholic Church ( 0 for 2) to convert the ‘heathen’ Celts to Catholicism. He was surprisingly successful by using the famous “Catholic Convert or Die” tactic. It has proven to be an extremely effective tactic on at least four continents. Don’t understand transubstantiation? Neither do they but the will kill you for denying it. Now, I’m not trying to rag on Catholics, I’m just pointing out the obvious. Seeing that all this is true, some of you may ask why ‘ol Patrick got his own holiday. Well the truth is that there is no good reason. However, the world does need a reason to celebrate the greatest people on earth, the Irish. We have survived slavery, famine, oppression, segregation and years and years if drinking ourselves stupid. We are tough and here to stay despite the best efforts of the lousy, useless British. So take some time today and thank the powers that be that you are Irish, and if you are not, we will be taking the GW approach to this problem. If you’re not with us you are against us. So, go Irish or go home!